25 questions to ask your parents while you still can

You can know someone your whole life and still not know what their first apartment looked like, who encouraged them, or what they were afraid of at twenty. A conversation with a parent does not need to cover everything. One question, asked with real interest, can be a beginning.

Make it an invitation

Try saying, “I realised there are stories about your life I have never asked about. Would you enjoy telling me one?” Let them choose the subject. Explain whether you would like to write down their answer, and ask permission first. A visit can still be worthwhile when nothing gets saved.

Childhood and home

Choose a question that sounds enjoyable, rather than working through the list in order.

What did an ordinary Saturday look like when you were little?
Who made you feel safe?
What could you see from your bedroom window?
What meal meant home to you?
What did your family do that you thought every family did?

Becoming yourself

What were you like before you became a parent?
Who was your closest friend, and how did you meet?
What was your first job really like?
What did you spend your first paycheque on?
When did you first feel independent?

Love and relationships

Who taught you something important about love?
What do you remember about an early date?
Who helped you through a difficult year?
Which family tradition would you like us to keep?
What small kindness have you never forgotten?

Turning points

Which decision changed your direction?
What did you try even though you were nervous?
What did you change your mind about?
What are you proud of that people rarely ask about?
What advice would you give your younger self?

The details only they know

What always makes you laugh?
Which place would you like to describe for us?
What is the story behind a keepsake you own?
What do you hope we understand about you?
What question do you wish I had asked?

Keep the answer in their voice

Follow an interesting answer with “What happened next?” rather than moving straight to the next question. If they want their story saved in MyEverLife, help them use their own account and review the words together. If you write your recollection instead, identify it as your perspective. Keep a date and a little context; the details that seem obvious now may be useful later.

TRY IT IN MYEVERLIFE

Make one memory your starting point.

Choose one EverThought together and save the answer they want to share.

Download for iPhone Explore the guide: Parents & grandparents